Let's end our story by revealing
the true identity of Araragi Tsukihi.
You're always like that, Onii-chan.
You treat Karen-chan and me like kids.
The story of my bratty and annoying
littler little sister will bring these episodes
of my beloved companions and me to a close.
How come you don't know?
I'm platinum mad!
Araragi Tsukihi.
One of the Fire Sisters.
The younger little sister.
The littler little sister.
Second year, in middle school.
Born in April.
Age 14.
Blood type B.
A hysteric.
I don't want to hear that from you.
Sly.
You can be mad at Karen-chan,
but please don't get mad at me.
Prone to heights of emotion.
Huh?
Onii-chan, where's that girl?
And immortal, too.
This is the story of just another fake.
Episode 8: Tsukihi Phoenix, Part 1
August 14th Monday Morning
Sole
Nii-chan, is there anything you want me to do?
No.
There must be something, right?
Come on, Nii-chan...
I want to be useful to you.
I may not look it, but I'm a very helpful little sister...
A dedicated little sister...
A little sister ready to serve you!
Nothing...
There's nothing!
There's nothing I would want my sister to do this early in the morning!
There's nothing I want you to do for me,
and there's nothing you can do...
As you can see, I'm trying to concentrate on studying.
English Drills
I don't have time to play with a lower life form like you,
you single-celled organism!
If you're bored, go run through the fields.
You don't have to come back...
Um...
Araragi Karen, my sister, is wearing a skirt.
Who is this pretty girl?
Karen-chan!
If someone's bullying you, tell me!
Why didn't you talk to me
before this terrible thing happened?
No, nobody's bullying me.
If anyone is, it's you, Nii-chan.
I can laugh about this now.
But some of your thoughtless words
almost drove me to suicide when I was in elementary school.
That was the start of my attempts to be a hero.
The hatred for evil in my heart is something you created.
But... But, Karen-chan...
If no one's threatening you,
there's no way you would dress like this!
Don't worry, Karen-chan.
I'll do something.
Leave it all to your big brother.
Let's start by giving me
the addresses and cell phone numbers of whoever is bullying you.
And then the names of any teachers who let them get away with it!
I'll make them all pay!
Sometimes, Nii-chan, you're hotter than fire.
I'm in love.
Oh, I get it... It's cosplay.
Don't call a girl wearing a skirt "cosplay"!
Even I
get a little hurt.
That's the kind of stuff that
made me want to kill myself in middle school.
So, there was a time when even you were delicate, huh?
If it isn't cosplay, and you aren't being bullied, what is it?
Well, I was wondering if it was cute...
Then I don't know what to say...
It's cute, isn't it?
S-Sure is cute...
K-Karen-chan...
Thank you!
I'm so happy you complimented me, Nii-chan!
I'm so happy. So happy... Yay!
I just feel so relaxed when I'm hanging on to Nii-chan...
It just feels so good, giving you a big hug like this!
This must be how a Tempur-Pedic pillow feels!
Stop it! It feels creepy.
Creepy! Creepy! Creepy!
I'm sorry.
It really, really, really feels creepy.
Get away from me!
What is this?
What did I do to you?
Karen-chan, what is the meaning of all this?
I don't know how to answer that...
I know. From now on, I've decided
to be a good little sister, who loves her brother and would never disobey him.
I don't want that!
And I think that character would overlap with Kanbaru!
Kanbaru.
Um... Karen-chan.
Kanbaru is my junior by one year.
Yes...
Kanbaru Suruga.
Huh?
I didn't say her full name yet, did I?
Karen-chan.
Nii-chan, I have a request!
Would you please introduce
your little sister to Kanbaru-sensei?
Well, come to think of it,
martial arts is a type of sport, isn't it?
I guess it makes perfect sense that you'd know
a local star and national-level player like Kanbaru.
Please, Nii-chan...
Nay, Onii-sama.
Don't say "nay."
Aye, sir.
That's a good answer, but...
I'm so honored that you'd step on me...
And I'm seriously sick of seeing you bow.
Don't bow every time something happens.
Just so you know,
in modern society, bowing is a form of violence!
Got it! Then I'll lick your feet.
I'll start with the big toe, and work my way down!
That's why I'm telling you to stop!
Fine... Then I'll give you my virginity.
I'll give you my virginity, Nii-chan!
Black Scene
I don't want my little sister's virginity!
I guess I should ask about this.
Karen-chan, you don't act like this outside, do you?
With your friends, or classmates,
or teachers at school?
Of course not.
Everyone looks up to me.
Anyway, I'm amazed Tsukihi-chan loaned you those clothes.
You're gonna stretch the fabric if you wear them.
That's why I took them quietly...
She's gonna get mad at you later.
She's scarier than you are.
I hate to say this after you complimented me,
but skirts don't seem to match my skin.
But this miniskirt works great for kicking.
By the way, Karen-chan,
how did you learn I was friends with Kanbaru?
Oh, the unofficial Kanbaru-sensei fan club, Kanbaru Tool,
sent me a newsletter with lots of pictures of you in it.
Kanbaru Tool This is the unofficial fan club, made by your host, a huge Kanbaru Suruga fan. It is unofficial. There are no dues. It's a place for comrades who secretly love Kanbaru Suruga to gather. !!No trolling!!
She didn't know you guys took those pictures, did she?!
And then my own investigations revealed
that she looks up to you like a teacher.
Well, that's true, I guess.
I think this must be some kind of karma, Nii-chan.
Would you please introduce me to Kanbaru-sensei?
Karma, huh?
It may sound odd to say this,
but I think Kanbaru-sensei and I would get along!
But I have no intention of introducing my sister to Kanbaru.
There's a reason I can't.
It's because I know her sexual proclivities,
of which most people are unaware.
Karen-chan.
What is it, Nii-chan?
Give it up.
Now, let's talk, Nii-chan.
You're telling me you can't do a favor for your wonderful little sister?
Then I have my own idea.
I-If bowing doesn't get you what you want, you immediately resort to violence?
No way...
Seriously impossible!
Impossible?!
Then what am I supposed to do, Nii-chan?
Is there some way to get through to you, besides talking?
Then we need to have a game...
If we fight, we have a game.
That's our rule.
And just so we're clear, it won't be fair.
This is just your request. There's nothing in this for me.
Karen-chan, this game won't be fair.
I'll have a huge advantage.
Okay, that works.
I guess you understand.
Sure, you can choose whatever rules you like.
To meet Kanbaru-sensei,
I'll pass any test!
Wait a second.
I'll get the tools ready.
Nii-chan, that was fast.
Closed
Nii-chan?
That's my toothbrush you're holding, isn't it?
Y-You're not...
Nii-chan?
You're going to stick that toothbrush
up my butt?!
That's my brother...
Terrifying!
No, your brother isn't going to think up anything that terrifying.
Karen-chan,
a toothbrush is for brushing teeth.
Nii-chan,
you may be right, and a toothbrush may be for brushing teeth.
But what of it?
You aren't going to tell me to brush my teeth here, are you?
No.
No, I'm not.
I won't have you brush them.
I'm going to brush them.
And I'm not going to brush my teeth.
I'm going to brush your teeth.
Um, I don't understand.
You're going to brush my teeth?
How is that a game?
You and Tsukihi-chan get your hair cut at a beauty parlor, right?
But I don't really like those.
I get nervous when someone I don't know
touches my head.
Yeah, I only want the stylists I know cutting mine.
Psychologically, you have to be fairly close
to someone before you'd allow them to touch your hair.
I've heard that some girls are more against
having their hair touched than their bodies
What of it?
It's called "touching."
The most obvious example is hair-cutting.
Another example is tooth-brushing.
A moment ago, you didn't think it was a big deal.
But usually, having someone else brush your teeth is out of the question.
Normally, you can do it yourself, and normally, you do.
In other words, Karen-chan,
having someone else brush your teeth
generates major psychological resistance.
If you can withstand
that psychological resistance for five minutes, you win.
If you do, I'll introduce you to Kanbaru.
If you cry uncle before the five minutes are up, I win.
And I won't introduce you...
Is that all?
You made such a big deal out of it,
even I was starting to get a little scared.
I'm a bit disappointed.
Are you?
Sure! It sounds great to me.
I mean, I wouldn't want a total stranger doing it,
but you'll be doing it. Right, Nii-chan?
Then I'll be fine.
I'll clarify this.
No matter what you do to me, I won't be embarrassed.
If I give up before time expires, you win.
For an introduction to the great Kanbaru-sensei,
I think this is a bit too easy.
Actually, I'd hoped for something more challenging.
Okay, then we can start, right?
Sit down there.
Okay!
Ahhh.
Now, feel the terror
of the great Kanbaru-sensei for yourself.
Kanbaru-sensei's fetishistic ideas will lead to your defeat.
You must be overjoyed.
Did you just now understand?
But it isn't too late, Karen-chan.
I'm not messing with the exterior of your body.
I'm messing with the interior.
To simplify this,
it brings you pleasure.
Thin hairs are stimulating
the delicate parts of your body,
so it must feel good.
Not bad...
It makes me want to try harder.
If you give up now, Karen-chan, you'll feel good.
Or rather, you'll stop feeling good!
Oh, no...
Hearing her moan makes me feel really weird...
It makes my heart race!
3 minutes 24 seconds
Tsukihi Phoenix Chapter
She really is cute...
This is seriously bad.
Was Karen always this cute?
Huh? Huh? Huh?
This is just a possibility,
but could my sister be the cutest girl in the world?
I've always thought Hanekawa Tsubasa was the ideal woman,
but could I have been mistaken?
Even if she isn't better than Hanekawa,
she could still give her a good run for her money.
No, no, no... Wait!
What am I saying?
No human could match Hanekawa.
This is a hallucination!
This special situation is weakening me. That's all!
I know that! I know that!
B-But...
K-Karen-chan...
Karen-chan...
Nii-chan...
It's okay.
What are you doing?
Onii-chan, Karen-chan, please tell me what, exactly, is going on here?
W-Wait, Tsukihi-chan!
It's not what you think!
Why is my brother happily pushing Karen-chan
into the bed, while brushing her teeth?
Why is Karen-chan wearing my clothes and
happily smiling, while being pushed into the bed by my brother?
Why am I pushing my little sister into
the bed with a smile, while brushing her teeth?!
Why am I wearing my little sister's clothes,
smiling, as my big brother pushes me into the bed?!
What a surprise!
Y-You saved us, Tsukihi-chan!
Thank you!
Would the judge be merciful?
Would there be room for extenuating circumstances?
Let there at least be a stay of execution,
Karen-chan and I hoped.
Would you two stay like that, just for a moment?
I'm running to the convenience store to buy an awl.
There would not be.
We were given the death penalty.
Tsukihi-chan, I don't think they sell awls at the convenience store.
You'd have to go to a specialty goods store!
Nii-chan, you're heavy.
Oh, sorry.
Closed
So, Nii-chan, about our game...
It's way past five minutes.
Crap...
Fine... A promise is a promise.
Okay, Karen-chan.
I'll introduce you to Kanbaru.
You did well, Karen-chan.
You win.
I lose today.
I'll accept it.
N-Nii-chan?
What?
I-If you really insist, and only because you insist,
we can go best out of three.
You know, Tsukihi-chan interrupted midway.
That normally means it's a tie.
A-And there's still time before Tsukihi-chan gets back...
We can go into extra innings if you want.
Uh...
O-Okay, maybe I will...
Y-Yeah.
Now that you've said that, I can't turn you down.
I accept... I accept your challenge!
Th-This time, you want to do me?
Y-Yeah, th-that's fairer.
And so, starting that morning, Karen and I
began to get along a little better.